Growing up, I have only cut one person out of my life. This person was extremely toxic. I had to for my own sanity. 5 years later, this person showed repentance and I was wary but re-accepted them back into my life.
As such, I do believe I should be punished for my actions no? For believing they have changed, when we all know, most people do not change. For believing she is better than what everyone says about her.
But it hurts my heart so, when she proves others right. I know there is a saying, expectations will only cause you heartache.
She and I go out for sushi. I get all dolled up, put some makeup on, curl my hair, changed my wardrobe 6 times. I know, I know, it’s my fault! I wanted to look pretty again.
We go out for dinner, and then, we eat. We catch up. We laugh. Then I forgot to keep my defenses up so as I get charmed, here comes the kicker, the big ask. I should of known. It’s always been this way. This person reaches out only to contact me because they need something from me.
It’s my fault. I’m an idiot. I let a toxic person back in my life. I set expectations I know they can’t ever reach. Sigh. Hope. My worst and best friend.